Grief and Grieving, Part 2: Why Grief Is Important

Suffering a loss of some kind has been part of human life since we first got here. There's something almost foreign about death, though, because it betrays our friendships by ending them, and it takes away our best-loved family members. The 'viewing' at a funeral is painful:  looking at the face of
someone who can't look back any more, much as we wish they would. But because we are humans and have emotions, we must "process" or work through them, including grieving. Can the Bible help us understand grieving better? Let's see.

In ancient times, groups of people would have an official mourning period of many days. This happened for Jacob (Genesis 50), Moses (Deut. 34), and others. This amount of time, set aside from normal life and duties, let everyone have time to think over their memories of their loved one, express sorrow and frustration and the other emotions of grieving, and find a way to say goodbye. Today, we sometimes think we have to just get on with life and not let ourselves get too carried away in grief, but that's just not true. We need that time to find, express and resolve our emotions.

One of the clearest and most famous expressions of grief in the Bible is that of King David, mourning over his son Absalom. It's recorded in 2 Samuel 18:33: The king was overcome with emotion. He went up to the room over the gateway and burst into tears. And as he went, he cried, “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you! O Absalom, my son, my son.” (We'll look at this passage again in Steps of Grieving, next time.)

In David's case, he wasn't allowed to properly grieve his son, due to the volatile political situation. We can be sure that David remembered his son to his grave, however. We see him mentioning Absalom to Solomon, who he is preparing to be the next king, in 1 Kings 2:7. That must have hurt his soul to mention that name again.

It's not healthy to ignore the process of letting go of a loved one (or even a life situation). If we keep shoving it back in our thoughts instead of addressing it, the internal turmoil can lead to a illness and depression. Have you lost a loved one? Have you taken the time and energy to mourn? Like all things in life, we can take our losses to God. Paul writes: "3 All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. 4 He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us" (2 Cor. 1:3-4).  Take your mourning to the Father, and let him comfort you.